Gaps, patches and in-betweens

I found oooooold friends, neighbors in fact at our old place in Cainta on FB lately. Then I almost asked my 12 year old daughter of one neighbor we had when I was almost the same age as she is, mistaking her for my younger sister, until I caught myself thinking – hang on. There’s something wrong in this picture. My daughter will have no idea who I am talking about because she has not lived that life, in that neighborhood. When I realized I was on the verge of the slip-up and saved what remaining 38 year old dignity I have against another one of her 12-year old “You’re getting old, mom” looks, I thought, whew. What the hell was I thinking?! It was the strangest feeling. Friday, February 19, 2010

Maybe it is man’s nature to be in awe and scared of something bigger than himself. The matter of size and power scares him, heightening the feeling of not being in control. So he tries to overcome that fear by transferring it, instilling the fear in the bigger, wiser animals and controlling them. He tries to have power over the animals by teaching him his ways, his understanding of things, what he wants the animals to do until man has brainwashed them and the massive, powerful beasts are subdued and tamed to thinking that man is their master. Yet even with man’s self imposed stature in this power structure and being able to command the animals, fear is still never far from his mind and heart as evidenced in the way he conveys his instructions. He screams, yells, and gives orders seemingly angry at himself for being small and weak thus projecting fake confidence by hurling rough words in booming voices like whips trying to convince himself that he is in charge. It reminds me of the way ...

Coffee, tea and you A long, long time ago A time and place buried in the trunk with your baby socks You asked for milk. An uncomplicated thing, really. You smiled at me with milk mustache. Then you switched to chocolate drinks, then discovered soda. When you moved on to the occasional beer, You discovered my favorite coffee To chase the hangovers away You started drinking tea In your new found calling And brought some home from places I have never heard of even if it was in my own country A world that I only see on the news With problems too complicated for me to fathom You once compared it to my weaving where each Complication runs over then under the other Making a bigger patchwork to form a blanket that can cover us all I almost understood it then But you had to rush off to a meeting Or a rally I caught a whiff of gin in your breath I was too amazed at your passion to try to question what you do Until I heard that you are not coming home For now… Maybe...

Milk Milo Milo (undiluted) Ovaltine (undiluted) Sips of beer Sips of gin Coffee Beer Gin…Gin, gin, gin, gin, gin, gin Beer, gin, beer, gin Coffee, beer, gin, coffee, beer, tequila, gin, vodka, water, water Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer Wine Coffee, beer, gin, coffee, beer, tequila, gin, vodka, tea, water, water Gin tonic And I’m not sure what comes after this stage as it is still to happen And then I’m guessing Dextrose. 2/6/2010 4:06:58 PM

You know how people who look alike seem to have the same personality traits without them ever being remotely related to each other? Well, I just had the weirdest Sunday. First we met a girl who with big bright eyes, round-faced, bit on the short side, one length hair short hair, bubbling personality, much like how someone successful who would be working for a PR agency. She was the previous vice president of a Filipino federation in Chiang Mai and we were told that as such, she was good. Her type of personality was of those successful ones in the field of networking or public relations. She knows what to ask, she is funny and very engaging. She reminded me of someone I know through work. Then even Kigao said she reminded him of someone with the same personality, facial features, and even the way they talk. Later that day, I met two other people. One looked like a typical used to be mass communications student in UP Diliman, pleasing personality, sweet voice, thinnish, tallish, and remi...

Yes, Hans Christian Andersen's. I’ve recently read, well, ok, listened (audio book) to the story again. I was saving some audio books on the mp3 for the kids to listen to before they go to sleep – well, not because I wanted to skip my telling them a story, well, ok, maybe that a little bit but ok, back to my point - and I rediscovered the story. As usual, I laughed as I always had since I came upon the story when I was a little girl: at the vanity of the elites, the arrogance and pride of the ministers and authorities, and best of all their stupidity because of all that and not wanting to risk social status, a high ranking job, or being called a ‘simpleton’. Stupidity under the guise of intelligence. These people ‘of authority’, with ranks, thought to be wise and smart did not want to be the first to pull the plug on the trick and chose not to see and state the obvious of all. They would rather live with the lie, go with what the other ‘wise’ or ‘smart, ‘intelligent’ people have...