Theory of Relatypicality

The theory of relativity is based on two assumptions: that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant, and that physical laws have the same mathematical form throughout the universe.
- Microsoft® Encarta® Premium Suite 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation.

typical [adjective], typicality [noun]
1. representative: having all or most of the characteristics shared by others of a type and therefore suitable as an example of the type
2. conforming to expectation: conforming to what is expected
3. resembling others in taxonomic group: used to describe an organism, species, or genus that has most of the characteristics that identify the larger taxonomic group to which it belongs
- Microsoft® Encarta® Premium Suite 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation.

Funny how when we watch a movie with the usual weddings and the bride in white, Kigao asks me if I ever long for those things. Now that is weird. I had to remind him that I'm the one who does not want to get married. I never had that white wedding dream when I was a little girl. I dreamt of other things but not as a bride in white. Yet he never asks me if I feel insecure that I am not a “typical” mother. Because I do get insecure (read previous post This Mama's hands) more of what mothers should be good at doing in relation to hands like cooking, etc. More of being a “typical” mother than a “good” one. Good is relative. But typical is… typical.

I guess it started my wondering about how "mommy" I am when my daughter started asking her father not to fetch her from school last year. Now we wondered about that. And one time, when he did, Ilaw entered the house with a face like she just stepped on a dead frog, pulled me inside the room and said: “Can we talk?” I was actually nervous. The “talk” was about why her father picked her up when she specifically asked not to be picked up from school. Kigao took that to heart and since then had pondered and wondered. Then one time he just asked me that maybe he should shave off his goatee and cut his hair. He surmised that maybe our daughter does not want to be fetched by him because he does not look like other fathers in school. Of course I talked him out of it and I still would have to dig it out of Ilaw why, but that "typical look" was the most insanely sensible hypothesis we could come up with.

Though not physically typical in their school’s norm, in the world where their father moves in, he is as typical as any artist there is. Again here, depending on which world, “typical” is relative. If Ilaw felt like that with her father, it got me thinking to how she was feeling with me as her mother.

Fact: there are more worlds than one that kids are exposed to and have to live with, and different "norms" should they want to conform--their choice. And the kids would eventually have to accept that. I only hope they will not get any complex while living in the worlds and the home, and that they do understand eventually. And not when they are already feeding our ashes to their dogs.