…through Leyte park and reminiscing…

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Yes, Leyte Park, the hotel. The last time I was there was when the world and I were much younger, 11 years ago to be exact. The circumstances were also different. Yesterday I was there for a meeting, work, with mostly representatives of government offices. Eleven years ago, was a meeting also, but of the creative sort. We were clutching on the verges of literary genius or so we thought, amongst literary UP Creative Writing Center-wise icons.

Yesterday I scoured the beach, the shore shorter now than how I remembered it, maybe because of more newly-built cottages. Back then I was intoxicated with Bahalina. Today I was cold, stone sober with only caffeine running through my veins for the past few days.

The world was mine to conquer back then. Now I’m scared shitless with uncertainties and age clouding a future view of the world and how I want it to be with and for my kids.

I sat at the lounge drifting between thoughts of then and now, drawing on my cigarette in my left hand as I did eleven years ago. Then, I held the literary manuscript to be discussed for three days, while yesterday, my right hand texted away. Can’t even remember the story I gave for the workshop. I tried to remember. Then “We used to be frightened and scared to try, of things we don’t really understand why…” yes, the Raymond Lauchengco version, wafted through the air. Hmn. Is there any other version? Probably not. Mostly, it is only the foreign songs that we revive here.

And feelings.

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