Losing my religion

-

Last week, my daughter’s classmates were practicing their Holy Communion. Thinking that it was just another school activity, my daughter told my mom, a devout Catholic, who then relayed to me the requirements that they have to buy: white dress, shoes and stockings.

I pondered long and hard. How do you not break a mother’s heart while admitting that the religion she is so devoted to has ceased to apply to you, and which you are giving your daughter a choice to decide on.

Then I pondered on another difficult thing. How do I tell my daughter that she has no religion. That she is not baptized. And why.

So first things first. I had to talk to my daughter. I drew her outside, where we can talk without my mom overhearing us. Conversation went like this:

ME: Sweetheart, you cannot join the Holy Communion because it is a ritual for Catholic people. You are not Catholic.

ILAW: Why not?

ME: Because there are a lot of other religions and we want you to choose what you want when the time comes that you are ready to decide what to join.

ILAW: What is religion?

ME: It is a belief, a set of belief and belonging by a group of people. Right now we are letting you go to different churches so you can know how it is to belong to their religions. Like you have Sunday school when you are in Baguio, that is an activity of the protestants. Here you go with my mother,Lola Mary and go to Catholic church, that is a Catholic ritual. You also go to other churches like the different churches of your different ates (our help in the house-depending on who she is at the time) for you to know and learn about their religion. Have you had a religion, you wouldn’t have been able to join their activities.

(ILAW looks like she's thinking, then nods.)

ME: But this is different, this Holy Communion is strictly for Catholics and you are not a Catholic, at least not yet, and not until you tell me that you want to be one. You will have a religion once you decide which one you like the most. There are lots of people who were baptized in one religion and changed their religion later. We want you to choose your own when you are ready and if you find one that you would want to belong to.

ILAW: what other religions are there?

ME: Lots (I enumerated those that I know) Those that are not Catholics cannot join the Holy Communion.

ILAW: Ah, like my classmates. Two of them are not joining the Communion.

ME: Yes, I don’t know their reasons why they are not joining but is it ok if you do not join?

ILAW (nonchalant): Yah, it’s okay. (pause) Nanay does Diru (younger sister) have a religion?

ME: None.

ILAW: Will you tell her also when she is 8 years old?

ME: Yes. When the time comes.


Or something to that effect. We ended the conversation amiably. As she went back to Disney Channel, humming one of the songs from High school musical, I let out a sigh. It was so much easier than I anticipated. Then I lit a cigarette for the other hurdle – my mother, whom up to this day I still am trying to figure out how I can tell her without hurting her. I know that I might be over anticipating her reaction like how I did with my daughter, and my mom does sometimes surprise me with reactions not like the way I’d expect her to have… I digress...


For blog - Monday, December 04, 2006

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If I forget

-
how I sing my song how I play the piano how I recite the poem how I tell the story of you How I recognize you How I know it’s you I am afraid. I can only hope that my love for you will survive the pain and hurt I have caused that may make you want to forget. Please remember for me as long as you can  because pretty soon, I won’t, you see but you can. "I am an X in an indeterminate equation. And that X is the rock upon which I stand." - Mario Puzo
Read more

Book it!

-
In two lamenting parts: The Da Vinci Code Part one: Why reading the book is better While reading the book, you do not experience: 1. Kuyakoy or someone shaking their legs (they say involuntarily but I suspect some people do it consciously to irritate people like myself) to the beat of 1/10 per second. This shaking creates a vibration affecting two or more seats from the source, making those affected think of intensity two earthquakes 2. Seat kicking by someone behind who cannot sit still 3. Feet up on the seat 4. People’s unwanted and unnecessary reactions All of these have the effect of irritation leading to concentration loss. The excitement of watching movies in a wide screen, with dolby stereo sound system just dissipates with the presence of numbers 1 to 4. I realized that watching films at home is a much better option. Though reading has the risk of unwelcome interruptions from the kids, these interruptions are bearable because they are my kids after all. One can always find the ...
Read more

The Disappeared Series

-
Coffee, tea and you A long, long time ago A time and place buried in the trunk with your baby socks You asked for milk. An uncomplicated thing, really. You smiled at me with milk mustache. Then you switched to chocolate drinks, then discovered soda. When you moved on to the occasional beer, You discovered my favorite coffee To chase the hangovers away You started drinking tea In your new found calling And brought some home from places I have never heard of even if it was in my own country A world that I only see on the news With problems too complicated for me to fathom You once compared it to my weaving where each Complication runs over then under the other Making a bigger patchwork to form a blanket that can cover us all I almost understood it then But you had to rush off to a meeting Or a rally I caught a whiff of gin in your breath I was too amazed at your passion to try to question what you do Until I heard that you are not coming home For now… Maybe...
Read more