Sadness came to visit
"Ma'am, please remove metal, jewelry and everything that may affect the ECG," the young nurse told me.
I found a ring on her limp, left hand. I took it off and her unconscious body seemed to protest.
I had flashbacks of when she would make me wear gold earrings and come home with them gone and me with no clue as to where they were, her raised voice wailing at how careless I was.
I tucked the ring in my pocket which later my daughter said was her wedding ring. It was the longest, oldest thing in that new hospital room aside from her. Older than me. Older than the machines connected to her unconscious body.
She forgot about a lot of things in her last months like whose house she was in, and the names of her grandchildren.
Except when she heard music. Alzheimer's leaves when she was in front of the piano as though a sound from the distant past was playing in her mind and transposing it to her fingers on the keyboard. Her fingers flew, tapped, pounded or caressed the piano keys. I suddenly was my small self standing beside her in awe of how she knew every song I hummed.
I hated the last few years when I had to be the more adult one and I could not give enough when she gave me too much.
The other day, an overwhelming feeling of sadness just came over me. I couldn't shake it off, couldn't place it, and had to wallow in nostalgia and just let it go through me. I miss you and Papa.
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