A series of complaints from oh-so-priviledged me
Dear seatmate at the bank,
How difficult could it be to just sit without shaking your
leg? You are causing my earthquake trauma to recur. In case you haven't noticed, the seats are connected. The small ripples you cause in your shifting are like layers of earth reshuffling. Do you really have to
beat to the music of the commercials on the monitor showing the number being
served at the counter? I understand that you are getting impatient. Let's see, I got here some 30 minutes before you. If I can sit still like a meditating plant, why can you not stop moving!? Do you have someplace else to go? Well, I do too. Away from you!
And this goes out also to seatmates at airport boarding gates, hospital waiting halls, and any other facility where we share the same bench.
And this goes out also to seatmates at airport boarding gates, hospital waiting halls, and any other facility where we share the same bench.
Dear passenger behind seat number 17D on PAL flight 9:20am
from Tacloban, Leyte, and the person behind me on the bus from Silang to Manila,
and the bus ride back home on December 17,
I do not appreciate a back massage right now or any other
time, especially from you. How tall exactly are you that you cannot help but nudge
my seat with your knee? your leg? The pressure extending to my lower back plus plus? Are you having a nightmare?
The frequency of your twists and turns and the massage I am getting suggest that
either you are not comfortable, or that zombies are chasing you in your sleep.
I so wish you the latter. I, too, am trying to sleep, just like you, pretending
that the bus seat is the couch
or the bed. But unlike you, I do try not to bother anyone in my make-believe. And when I stand up
I do not put all my weight on the seat in front of me causing the seat to jerk,
and jerk me awake, you jerk!
Dear bus driver, tricycle driver and other music aficionados,
Am I old or are you deaf? I cannot even hear myself think! I do not understand how you can with the racket you're making! Maybe you are not thinking. I get that. But I prefer a little quiet when I go into mindless existence mode. The bass adds to the throbbing of my head. You are ruining my favorite music era, the vocals clawing at my skull! And of course, people would choose that exact time to call or talk on their phones. I am Edvard Munch's model in all his versions but my Scream is hysteria masked by deadpan. I just sit, stunned, wondering what have I done in my past life that got me here, at this precise moment.
Dear inconsiderate drivers,
Does your selfishness hogging the road, or the parking space gives you peace? Maybe you are just being yourself--a plain a**hole. Were you born that way? Driving in a jacket because the air condition is too cold does not give you an excuse to be a moron and harass those walking under the heat of the noon sun trying to get to where they are going without pedestrian roads. I wonder if you have that same arrogance when you are not behind the wheel. Size does not make you immortal and it does not give you license to be a dick to those in smaller vehicles and especially not to people riding in windy jeeps or tricycles. It's a simple matter of being mindful of others. Try it. It might save your life. After I show you the real meaning of road rage.
Dear people falling in line in the girls’ toilet (especially when I am the last person waiting in line),
Am I old or are you deaf? I cannot even hear myself think! I do not understand how you can with the racket you're making! Maybe you are not thinking. I get that. But I prefer a little quiet when I go into mindless existence mode. The bass adds to the throbbing of my head. You are ruining my favorite music era, the vocals clawing at my skull! And of course, people would choose that exact time to call or talk on their phones. I am Edvard Munch's model in all his versions but my Scream is hysteria masked by deadpan. I just sit, stunned, wondering what have I done in my past life that got me here, at this precise moment.
Dear inconsiderate drivers,
Does your selfishness hogging the road, or the parking space gives you peace? Maybe you are just being yourself--a plain a**hole. Were you born that way? Driving in a jacket because the air condition is too cold does not give you an excuse to be a moron and harass those walking under the heat of the noon sun trying to get to where they are going without pedestrian roads. I wonder if you have that same arrogance when you are not behind the wheel. Size does not make you immortal and it does not give you license to be a dick to those in smaller vehicles and especially not to people riding in windy jeeps or tricycles. It's a simple matter of being mindful of others. Try it. It might save your life. After I show you the real meaning of road rage.
Dear people falling in line in the girls’ toilet (especially when I am the last person waiting in line),
When someone is waiting at the entrance of the rows of
cubicles (instead of a queue in front of every cubicle as we are wont to do), respect that. It does not
mean that I am just hanging around in the toilet or that I am allowing you to go
ahead of me. It simply means giving everyone a fair chance to go in
the first cubicle that will be available. Is it really that complicated? But you have to go ahead and
overtake the lone person in line, check if the other cubicles are occupied, and form a queue right beside the cubicle door. Time. To. Pray. For. Salvation.
Dear litterbugs,
Eat your trash.
"I am an X in an indeterminate equation. And that X is the rock upon which I stand." - Mario Puzo
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